am i missing something?
Feb. 28th, 2009 @ 04:02 pm
Hi Everyone, I've never posted on here before so i'll introduce myself, My name is Malaika (ma-lay-ka), im 20 yrs old, been practicing and learning for 5 years now. I'm a solitary eclectic. Anything else you want to know you can ask, im not good at describing myself.
so i have a few questions for people that no matter where i look i can't seem to find an answer, i apologize if these questions have already been asked.
my first question/query is...actually its more of a statement, i don't know about everyone else, but i dont feel pagan enough, i dont know why this is but i don't feel like im being the best pagan i can be, and for 5 years worth of studying i don't feel like i know as much as i should, i think this is due in large part from not having a guide/line to teach me or follow, and so my learnings have been sporadic. i guess i expected to feel more pagan by now, i know that sounds wrong, but i mean i don't feel like what i expected to feel like. i guess its too hard to explain to people i don't know but im trying,
the second thing i want to ask is if anyone else is having problems doing the practice side of things due to limited time, interruptions etc, and how do you work with this problem?
thanks so much for your time
|Date:||February 28th, 2009 03:01 pm (UTC)|| |
Hello, Malaika, and welcome!
I can speak to your last question about making time for your spiritual practice since i've had a similar experience. You're right - we are all so busy, and sometimes it is hard to carve out a special bit of time each day for spiritual pursuits. I had a meditation teacher who, in essence, solved this problem for me in a simple sentence.
I was taking a meditation intensive, and as a part of our homework we were asked to spend two hours a day in meditation. You should have seen people's reactions. Every single person was like how in the world can we devote two whole hours a day of meditation into our busy lives! I had the same concerns.
Our teacher smiled patiently at us and said: Cut out *everything* in your life that doesn't feed you spiritually and you will have plenty of time each day for meditation. He was absolutely right.
Once i started examining my daily habits, i found there was plenty of time wasted each and every day doing things that did not feed me spiritually - watching crappy television, wasting time on the internet, engaging in long phone conversations with negative people, reading trashy novels. When i started cutting those things out - or limiting them (such as a 5 minute phone call instead of 30 minutes), my schedule freed up considerably.
A nice thing is that the definition of what feeds you spiritually is totally subjective. Having positive time with your friends is spiritually uplifting; learning on the internet can be deeply fulfilling; watching an inspirational movie or tv program can be nourishing as well. The point is to cut out the things that are obviously not spiritual and then spend your free time differently.
I hope this helps a little!
What you hold as your faith is not something you 'be', it's something you are. As long as your heart is solid in your choice, and you are true to your beliefs, then you are fine. If something has you out of place, find out what it is. What others think is irrelevant, and only you can decide if you are where you need to be. Devotion is a mind set. Walking down the street can be you're meditation. My dedication to my carpentry is mine, it is what brings you peace. What you do is what you need, no one can tell you what you are. If you need a guide and rules, stick with something organized, not something that must flow through you. Don't get hung up with meditation being sitting around with you're legs crossed clearing your mind, because you can gain more perspective walking through the woods sometimes. The world is your guide, go out and see it. The earth is your alter, spend time in it. Having a guide can be good, but what is at your core is for you to know. Take a step back and see what that tells you is needed, not what you picture as needed.
First of all, hello!
I am also a solitary eclectic and understand how you feel. Not feeling pagan enough is due partially to most people 1. living in cities where you have patches of nature but nothing too vast, 2. living in a day and age where modern living doesn't always accomodate the pagan lifestyle. It's ok to feel disconnected, but as my martial arts instructor says "You're doing it right when you don't feel like you're doing anything at all". When you feel disconnected, try to make your home your sanctuary. Sometimes just moving things around or adding personal touches will make you feel a lot better.
In regard to your second question, it's hard to take time for yourself. Everyone is working so hard to make ends meet, take care of their families and have a social life. Believe me, the Gods understand. If you have the chance to set aside just five minutes everyday, either when you wake-up or before bed to meditate to say thank you for your blessings, it's a start. It's really hard to set aside time when you are working by yourself and don't have the luxury of a church community to rely upon. If you have to perform a long ritual, pencil in the time in your schedule. In the modern pagan age sometimes a modern solution is necessary.
Best of luck, and feel free to contact me through livejournal messaging. Merry part.